I know we’ve been quiet - I hope to change that. I thought I would share the “vice presidents” letter I did for our August newsletter! My little girl is soooo cute (and wise).
Hello MOM’s,
I’ve been trying to cook the perfect asparagus for 10 years – it’s one of my husband’s favorites - but I never seem to get it right. The other night was no different – the phone rang – I got distracted – and boom – green mushy mush!
It had been a hard day – and I said out loud (with much frustration) “Uggghhhh – why can’t I get anything right?!!?!”
My 3 year old little girl, who was standing there, looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said:
“Be nice to my mommy.”
Wow.
It hit me - having twins definitely means double the work – and part of the work I put in sometimes is being twice as hard on myself!
I require that the kids are nice to each other, nice to themselves – but, my daughter pointed out, I’m not always nice to me. I focus on the fact that I have probably only put the laundry away 3 times in 3 years. I’m always overcooking food. My house is a mess, my office a disaster, and I lose my patience, my temper, and sometimes my sanity around the people who least deserve it.
I’m my own worst critic.
I know I’m not alone. Almost every parent I have ever talked to seems to see themselves far more critically than logic allows.
Why aren’t we always nice to ourselves? To the outside world – each of have taken on a challenge greater than most would even dare to imagine…being parents of multiples! Doesn’t that alone warrant a well deserved pat on the back? Instead, (and I’ll speak for myself) I get caught up in the self defeating downward spiral of not being nice to myself.
So – I was thinking – let’s take a clue from a three year old. Let’s try being nice to ourselves.
Sure, the laundry doesn’t get folded and put away…but it is (generally) CLEAN. And the 10 years of overcooked asparagus – well, at least I keep trying…at least I’m cooking. A clean house all the time, is that even a realistic goal, especially when they have yet to make the perfect sippy cup?
And losing my mind, well, if I’m honest – I’m not sure that I’ve ever been 100% sane.
Let’s be nice to ourselves - and as a club, as a group, perhaps we can help each other. Let’s help by pointing out all the amazing things others are doing because of the the people in the world we know how tough it can be to get anything done sometimes. Let’s say to each other “thank you”, “great job”, and “wow – your hair looks…ummm…brushed!”(That last one is for me!).
As a club - let’s be the last people to ever point out the negative or the mistakes – because we know that we’re tough enough on ourselves – we don’t need help.
Let us be that positive support, that place of encouragement that will allow each of us to be the best parents we can be. Let’s be each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
We can do it for ourselves – and we can do it for each other.
Let’s be nice to our mommies.
Tiffaney
PS – And if someone could help me figure out the asparagus thing - that would be great!
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